Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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