I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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