It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
