white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
