Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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