Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
my being single is dangerous.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize