At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
