And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
