i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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