well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
