she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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