so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
