So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize