So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
