spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
