Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
