speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
