This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
