And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Houston, we have a squirter
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
