If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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