hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Randomize
