If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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