Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
