Umm I'm too high to move.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
