We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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