I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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