Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
