the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
