this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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