Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
