we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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