Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
