Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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