all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
