I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
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I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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