Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
