Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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