i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
