Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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