that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
