how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
