and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
