I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
