you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
