Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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