Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
