I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
