Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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