i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize