Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
