Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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