Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
