I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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