We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
