are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
