It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
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I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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